Invisible Grief.

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Men often grieve the loss of a pregnancy or baby in the shadows.

Cultural expectations often leave fathers carrying the burden of loss in isolation. Men are the ones we look to for strength, the ones we expect to carry his family through, and to be grounded when life feels like it’s falling apart. But men grieve too. Loss needs processed, grief needs resolved. If you are a loss father, or maybe your partner is struggling, I hope you will find some of this information helpful.

 
Grief is grief. Real men cry.   Do you find yourself….angry? irritable? withdrawn from friends or activities? struggling with substance abuse or addictive behaviors? are your relationships hurting?  This may be unresolved grief.  Men & women deal with grief differently, and on different timelines.   Grief wears many faces & every person processes those emotions differently. Common emotions include: sadness, anger, frustration, denial, detachment, increased/decreased sleep, increased/decreased interest in sex, increased/decreased appetite, lack of focus, headaches. Some men feel resentment towards the mother, they may feel guilty or even blame the partner for the loss.

Grief is grief. Real men cry.

Do you find yourself….angry? irritable? withdrawn from friends or activities? struggling with substance abuse or addictive behaviors? are your relationships hurting?

This may be unresolved grief. Men & women deal with grief differently, and on different timelines.

Grief wears many faces & every person processes those emotions differently. Common emotions include: sadness, anger, frustration, denial, detachment, increased/decreased sleep, increased/decreased interest in sex, increased/decreased appetite, lack of focus, headaches. Some men feel resentment towards the mother, they may feel guilty or even blame the partner for the loss.

 

Start Healing.

Men tend to be task oriented. They need a problem to fix and often look outside of themselves. Grief is an internal process.

  • Experience grief in your own way. No two men respond to loss the same way. Know that you are not alone.
  • Grief is a normal human emotion to loss. Allow yourself to grieve the child/pregnancy you lost. Some men feel this type of loss is intangiable, but this is the loss of hopes & a dream.
  • Parental grief takes years, not months. Give yourself time, and be patient. Men do not generally begin to process grief until 3 years post death. Other men report that the loss of a child is something they will grieve for a lifetime- it is not a loss that is forgotten. And that, is ok.
  • Stop hiding. Start healing. This is brave. This is strong. This is courageous.
  • Find other men who've experienced loss.
  • Be mindful of harmful behaviors. Seek help if needed.
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Get Connected.

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facebook groups- online peer support

peer support groups (central indiana)